Tag Archives: fantasy

Dissolving Bankers into fits of giggles.

Leave a reply

My visa is about to expire so I called my bankers today to activate my new card. Ok, so I admit I am bad and this gets worse if I have to do boring things. I love my bank, but boring this was as they had been instructed to give a long sales pitch to make me agree to pay 99c per month to protect my balance in case of death/dismemberment/redundancy, et al. I tried three times to explain that I kept my card instantly paid off and my balance was always zero. Off the spiel would rattle again and my badness was now activated by boredom. I took one last shot.

“Hon, when I pop my clogs with a zero balance, which I always have, it is hardly going to cause the bank any grief.”

That did it. She tried very hard to repress it and couldn’t. The giggles permeated the rest of the conversation. It is always great to see bankers have a very human side.

Genealogy Howlers.

Leave a reply

Calling offspring strange names is not a new trend I found. I have no idea what compels parents to couple a surname with something unfitting, yet going back a couple of centuries in my research I found a couple named Lord, residing in the Bible belt. Their surname was Lord, right? Keep this in mind.

On the event of the birth of their third son, the proud parents named him Thank Ye. Really? A baby boy named Thank Ye, with a surname of Lord? One has to wonder how grateful this child was as he grew into a man with that moniker.  One also has to hope that as it was the Bible belt, it wasn’t too bizarre.

This isn’t the worst name I have come across by any means. I think the all time favorite was a family practitioner named Rhea. His initials were I. and A. and his title was Dr. So we have, in bold lettering on the nameplate, Dr, I. A Rhea. Perhaps a tad apt, given his chosen profession.

Flash Fiction Competition from Kristell Ink

2 Replies

https://kristellink.submittable.com/submit/22350

Feline Flash Fiction Competition

On the 16th July 2013, Kristell Ink is exactly one year old…

“Holy potato, Batman! How did that happen?”

Exactly. Time has flown, and our first twelve months have been full of excitement, heartache, heartbreak, laughter, happiness, sadness and tears. However, we wouldn’t change a thing. We’ve loved putting together our books and releasing them into the big bad world.
Non-Compliance: The Sector, Strange Tales from the Scriptorian Vaults, Healer’s Touch, Guardians of Evion, Darkspire Reaches, Space Games and The Art of Forgetting: Rider… all of them have that something special. Over the next twelve months we have more wonderful titles to share.
As a little thank you/ writing challenge, we’re running a small flash fiction competition. In 500 words, we’d like you to tell us a fantasy/science fiction/steampunk/ subgenre story involving something with a feline feel.
“Feline? Huh? Why?”

Well, In May 2013, Kristell Ink became an imprint of Grimbold Books, and our parent company’s logo consists of two rather mischievous cats: Grim and Bold, and so we’d love to tie in theme to our new parents!
Also, we love cats…
To be extra nice, we’re opening the competition up to artists as well. If you don’t want to write, or feel you can’t write (not that we believe that!), then draw us/ paint us/ photo-manipulate us a unique picture involving something feline in the genres we’ve already mentioned.

Grim and Bold will be judging, along with Alex Shepherd (reviewer for Fantasy Faction and all around fantasy lover). Once a shortlist is decided, we’ll bring along Adam Dalton (Gollancz author) and decide on the top three.
In the event of a split decision, we will turn to Mark Lawrence (Harper Collins author) to make the deciding decision.
Closing date is the 16th August 2013.
Good luck! And Have fun!

First Prize: Kobo Mini e-reader loaded with Kristell Ink titles (and some special books from authors we admire and believe you should read!) and a £10 Amazon Voucher.

Second Prize: £20 Amazon Voucher (or $30 if you’d prefer).

Third Prize: £10 Amazon Voucher (or $15 if you’d prefer).

Crazy Times.

Leave a reply

So it starts. I had a phone call from my electrician first thing this morning and he was most apologetic for the hour, but he needn’t have been as I was up and about two hours before he called. He was scheduled to come wire in my generator on Monday, but now wanted to come tomorrow. One doesn’t mess with one’s contractor, and he is a good one. No, it is not very convenient, which I didn’t tell him, but I will work around it.

Late tomorrow night, Kid 1 arrives from Vancouver Island to stay with us for the wedding of Kid 3 on the 27th.  Fortunately, we have three vehicles, so she gets the use of her choice. I thought she was coming in just before the wedding and that I had more time. I was going to redecorate my guest room. I guess this isn’t going to happen.

Kid 3 wants me to go through the family pictures again to find a picture of her and her granddad for her slideshow at the wedding. Gulp. I don’t know that I have any that aren’t on slide and I don’t have a slide projector anymore.

Publishing stuff needs to be done, but my Publisher is being very nice about my busy time. All the same, I need to get stuff done. Not because I am being pressured in any way, but because I really want to participate and this is my choice.

Will my grandbaby stick to his/her due dates and arrive on September 7th? I doubt it from the appearance of that adorable child on his/her latest ultrasound picture. The mom to be cooked early and I think she might have inherited the same oven. In which case, this already well-developed baby might well put in an appearance with a very respectable weight at eight months. Time will tell.

Buying and who doesn’t.

Leave a reply

This was a writer related post, but it got me thinking back. Many years ago my late father had a soft furnishing company. It was top of the line, but even so, he offered considerable discounts, think cost price, to relatives. His nephew never stepped up. Not once. They lived in an outdated apartment with the drapes in rags and no, they were not poor. If you both earn and you don’t spend, you have the money. They never took up a cost price offer, not even for scatter cushions.

I guess a person can get out of the habit of spending if they live their whole life never improving anything. My cousin’s wife still had a twin tub washer long after these became dinosaurs. Darn, it even had a mangle on the top. Does anyone remember what a mangle was, even? I feel kinda sad for them really. They had no children by choice, so they had the opportunity to treat themselves, and yet didn’t. I fail to see the point of endless hours spent and dire jobs when there is no carrot in the offing. I expect my cousin’s wife’s relatives got a nice next egg on her demise, after he went, but what about them? Where was their payout for the years of work? Not comfort, not home ownership, not even nice vacations. So sad.

Coming back into full circle, I guess this is why I don’t spam family and friends. It is there and I will give a discount as allowed by my publishers, but I will not push it down your throat. Speaking of which, I do have some copies of Darkspire Reaches that I can give a 20% discount on if anyone is interested. Postage and Packing to the States is another $7.60 CAD on top, but not out of line with what Amazon charges for a single purchase. Oh, and then there is one copy earmarked for that special person who gives the most interesting comment on the cover. I will cover the cost of postage for this to anywhere in the world.

Satisfaction.

Leave a reply

There is a certain buzz that is indescribably from getting all the chapters of a book in order and ready to be formatted. This is especially the case with the current book in editing stage as I had misplaced some chapters and have only just found the disc containing them. Heaves enormous sigh of relief. Yes, there will be one more pass as I format but the major overhaul is done. Yes, I do ‘rest’ books between edits. I find this is needful for me so I can see the wood for the trees.

This book happens to be the second book of the second series. It does occur to me how much space I will have on my pc once these two have gone out the door. Ok, so I am a pack rat and save anything and everything. Still, it will be nice to put all this info on discs and have all that lovely space to fill up with new stuff. And yes, I know what my next project will be already and it is mostly written.